Most think growing up being the “ baby” of your parents is a easy job. I’m here to speak on behalf of my fellow babies it is not easy being the youngest child . Although we do have exciting benefits ( less strict rules & always getting our way blah blah etc etc). Life of the youngest child is years of hard work lol. I grew up a differnet life from my sister who i have a twenty year age difference from. I watched my father struggle with an alchol addiction which he still suffers from now.

My father broke my heart before any boy got the chance to do so. Of course i had plenty of ‘boyfriends” at that age. Those heartbreaks did not compare to the heartbreaks i felt from the man who helped create me. I started to hate see other dad relationships because i knew i would never get that. I remember praying to the Lord to change my dad & for God to make him a sober person. Of course i knew that just by me praying that it was not going to change him. My dad had to find the motivation to change himself. My dad is a great dad i love him with my whole heart. He taught me a lot of life lessons, how to fish, garden, and be a good person. Not every person is perfect duh lol the only perfect person is our lord and savior Jesus Christ. Maybe one day before i have kids my father will decide to change his life around.

My mother working not only to keep our family together, but also her marriage together for so many years. I basically gained my independence at a young age. unlike my classmates who were learning to ride bikes, drive cars, theme parks, or even boyfriends. I was teaching myself how to heal from the heartbreak of watching my father slowly drank his life away. At the age of twelve i started to notice my father changing into a different person on the weekends. It was kinda like a light switch went off in my brain. The On side was the man i knew to be my father & The Off side was his drunk alter ego that i hated to see. My dad would give me love and affection during the day, but at night he would sort of forget i exist. They always say ” fathers are a girls first heartbreak” and of course it is true.

As i’m typing this at 6:18 am on June 8,2020 i am up listening to worship music. This scripture in Deuteronomy 31:6 says that ” Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I find this scripture important because i cant change this world, my father, or the world. It reminds me to not be afraid because my God has it all under control. God with with my father through his addiction and through the grace of God he will OVERCOME whether its today, tomorrow, or ten years from now. This world will change for the better because God has it under control. We have to be strong and know that he is with us.

-Sierra

6/8/2020

love you my beautiful peeps 💛🌈🦋😘